Dating, marriage, Positive Life Skills, relationships, Transformation

Fatima’s Story Going From Miss to Mrs – How I Met and Married My Mr Right using The JOYful Method ©

Photo by Alberta Studios on Pexels.com

The JOYful Method © helps women gain clarity on the missing link that is holding them back from realising their dream relationship with their personal Mr Right. The JOYful Method © gives women the tools, support, guidance and direction they need to bridge the gap to get to their Happily Forever After and maintain a healthy and JOYful marriage.

If you’d like to learn more about The JOYful Method © please get in touch with me directly on: NadiaJoyDating@gmail.com

Over the next couple of weeks I will be sharing with you the conversations that I had in a Q & A session with my clients as they share their story of how they met and married their personal Mr Right

This is Fatima’s Story!

Q: Fatima please could you tell us a little about yourself and your relationship history before you started coaching with Nadia?

A: Sure. My name is Fatima, I come from a traditional Pakistani Muslim family and I have never dated as such. I was in an arranged marriage at 22 and divorced 6 months later. That was my relationship history. My marriage was physically, emotionally, and psychologically abusive and it took me 3 years after my divorce before I even started to think of getting married again. I wanted to find my own independence and my own identity and rebuild my self-esteem and I worked with a psychologist on PTSD, Narcissistic abuse, and trauma I went through in my arranged marriage. When I turned 26 I told my family I was ready to start looking at marriage again and I attended Muslim marriage events and my family and friends regularly brought men home or their sisters or aunties or grannies so they could see me, like I was a perishable item that was getting too close to it’s best before date, I hated it! The family pressure was too much for me and I moved out to go and live with my brother and sister-in-law in London. I got a transfer and started working in a dental clinic in South London. My brother and sister-in-law met online on an Islamic marriage/dating site and they encouraged me to try it and join the events so I can start meeting people my age in London and get to see how the events worked.

Q: How did you first cross paths with Nadia?

A: That’s so funny! I met her at an Islamic marriage event. Nadia was on the same website as me and we sat on the same table, we started talking and immediately I clicked with her, we had a lot in common, we exchanged numbers, the evening ended, I went home and my sister in law was waiting with a bowl of coco pops to hear how the evening went. I told her I didn’t really meet any guys I liked but I met a dating coach and I told her all about Nadia. Later that month it was my 27th birthday and for my gift, my brother and sister-in-law gifted me a 12-week workshop with Nadia. It took me 4 months before I could put the courage together to call Nadia and book my first session.

Q: How did working with Nadia impact you with regard to marriage?

A: I started working with Nadia on the JOYful Method course initially then I progressed to mentoring with Nadia twice a week and I am still mentoring with Nadia. Doing the 12-week course helped me in the following ways:

  1. I had clarity on my challenges with relationships
  2. I knew what I had to do to overcome these challenges
  3. I knew what my personal and relationship values were and how they connected
  4. I learnt how to be the partner I am looking for
  5. I worked through the remnants of abuse and trauma to clear the way for my new relationship
  6. I learnt what to look for in a man, his character and values etc
  7. I learnt how to read body language and non verbal signs of communication
  8. I learnt about different red flags and how to navigate difficult situations
  9. I read The Rules books and applied them to my life
  10. I got a promotion at work.
  11. I worked through the relationship issues with my family.
  12. I learnt how love and discipline are entwined and how one cannot work without the other.
  13. I challenged every limiting belief that I had regarding marriage and being happy.

Q: How did this work (transformational coaching) affect you externally and internally?

A: On the outside, I was dressing better and Nadia helped and still helps me a lot with choosing outfits where they are Islamic but still elegant, feminine, and attractive. My family say my face changed and I look more at peace. I became more confident and not faking it but really feeling it. On the inside, I feel peace. I know there is no situation so challenging that I can’t figure out for myself with what I have learned and keep learning and practicing. I still feel anxious sometimes but not to the point of anxiety attacks. I am not angry anymore I just have peace and joy and a light and breezy attitude no matter what, well most of the time if I’m honest with you I still have my moments but I now know who I am and what I stand for and that’s the best feeling in the world!

Q: How did this help you on your journey towards meeting and marrying your Mr Right?

A: If I’m honest with you before the course and the work I couldn’t tell you what I wanted and needed from a relationship. I just wanted to be happy. I didn’t even know what will make me happy I just wanted to be happy and fall in love. Working with Nadia I felt qualified to put myself out there and ready for marriage because I finally knew who I was, who I was looking for and why and I knew what I was prepared to do in order to get to my aim. I also learned a lot about love, what it is and how falling in love is not real love but the lowering of ego boundaries.

Q: Without dating how did you meet men?

A: We created a schedule of activities. Nadia brought my family together, we populated the spreadsheet and I knew where I was going and who I was going with to meet men in real life. We also included 3 Islamic websites, 2 apps and a matchmaker. I only consented to this as Nadia would be in full control and the first point of contact for vetting men that came through the matchmaker and Nadia was responsible for putting together my biodata for the matchmaker.

Q: What sort of activities did you do?

A: Lectures, seminars, weddings, talks, comedy shows, concerts, plays, meetups and 1 funeral.

Q: How did you meet your husband?

A: At a funeral. *laughing*

Q: Come now Fatima, we want the details, tell us more!

A: The first time we saw each other was at a funeral. My sister-in-law’s uncle passed away and he was there helping with the funeral arrangements. I went to buy milk for tea and when I got back I gave my brother back his car keys and my husband was standing outside talking to him. I didn’t pay him any attention, I didn’t greet or smile I just went back to the kitchen helping make tea and prepare food. The next day he came into the kitchen with my brother, they went to buy some groceries so we could cook. According to my husband, my brother and my sister-in-law, my husband greeted me and I walked away but I seriously don’t remember that. I went back to London that evening and back to work. A week later when my brother and sister-in-law came back to London they said that my husband had asked my brother about me and if he could call me and speak because he wanted to get to know me. I said ‘Sure, sounds good’ and I forgot about it. My brother sent him my number and the next day in the middle of my workday he tried to call me on FaceTime and I ignored it. The next day when I got home from work he was sitting in the living room having tea with my brother. My sister-in-law was lurking in the background making eye signals for me to meet her in the kitchen so I went. She told me he came to London to take me out and it’s not enough notice so we need to disappear. It was hilarious! It was Tuesday and my day to meet Nadia so my sister-in-law went to tell my brother it’s Tuesday we are going to see ‘sister Nadia’ and we left. Nadia gave me a plan on how to navigate the situation and coached my sister in law how best to help and support me. We were so relieved when we got home and he was gone, awkwardness avoided. Then my brother tells me he’ll call me later in the evening. He called, we spoke for 7 minutes and I agreed to have lunch on Sunday.

Q: Tell us about your lunch date.

A: I don’t know if I would call it a date but sure. My sister and brother in law came with as my chaperones, they sat a few tables away so they could keep watch but not close enough to listen in on our conversation, not that there was much talking from my part, he kept the conversation going asking questions and telling me about himself, I kept making mental notes. Never married, stable job, good manners, very polite, very intuitive, calm nature, grounded etc etc. I took my bathroom breaks and made notes on my phone for later. I didn’t feel any butterflies or lightning bolts though I was nervous I had done this so many times before I felt like it was just another fact-finding mission. I ended the date first, he paid our bill and my brother’s bill and walked us to the car and asked if he can call me and see me the next week. On our date, he told me had liked me on an app and a website but I didn’t like him back and he wasn’t able to message me so he was glad we met even though it was at a funeral, so funny!

Q: How long did you court before you got engaged?

A: After 3 dates he said he was going to marry me and I didn’t know what to say so I just said ‘You’re funny!’ he then asked to meet with my family and ask for my hand, this was really difficult for me to navigate because I didn’t know how to get to know him better and still maintain the formalities that come with Islamic courting I was so anxious I couldn’t go to work for two days but Nadia spoke to my brother and sister in law and they worked it out with my parents. My family gave him their blessing to court me with a chaperone so we can get to know each other. We got engaged after a year, and married a month after that just before my 30th birthday, we celebrated my birthday on our honeymoon in the Maldives.

Q: If you hadn’t been coaching with Nadia how would you go about meeting a man for marriage?

A: I wouldn’t be meeting men I’d still be single.

Q: Do you really believe that?

A: Yeah! I would have gone online and not really given it any attention or make excuses not to meet suitors that my family and friends introduced me to. I didn’t know how to leverage my social network to meet men and I knew nothing about what to look for and look out for in a man. I didn’t have the know-how of what to do as a practicing Muslim woman to meet eligible marriage material men. I had no clue absolutely none as for dressing like a creature unlike any other and still maintaining my head covering and Islamic clothing, I’d still be walking around like Nadia says – like a wizard, hiding in my black cloak *laughing*.

Q: What was your family’s reaction to you getting a coach?

A: My sister-in-law is my biggest champion when it came to my coaching experience. She is a nutritional coach herself and she helped my parents see the value in coaching and now they tell all the girls in our friends and family circle if they want to get married they need a coach!

Q: What’s the best thing about having a coach?

A: You learn so much. You learn about who you are, your wants, needs, desires and dreams and you know what you need to do when, where and how to do it. You can just enjoy the process without worrying if you’re doing something right or wrong. You can feel free and secure at the same time and allow yourself to be vulnerable because you know you have guidance the whole way. Well, this is what it was like and is like for me.

Q: What was not so good about having a coach?

A: Initially it was the accountability I had difficulty with and resistance to. I admit I was lazy and the work I had to do was challenging, difficult and heck it was painful, but once Nadia explained the process, I think it was the 50th time, then I got it. Without pain and suffering there is no growth or expansion and nothing good happens in the comfort zone. My relationship with challenges and difficulty are much more positive now and I am starting to embrace obstacles as opportunities for growth not as problems that need to be solved or ignored.

Q: What was the most challenging time in your courtship with your husband?

A: When we started dating he was in the process of handing in his notice but he didn’t have a job lined up and was unemployed for a few months while we were still getting to know each other. He didn’t even have a job to go to when he met my family to ask for my hand. In hindsight, this was a good thing because it allowed me to see his character and how he was like under extreme pressure. Although he didn’t have a job he was always there on time every weekend to pick me up without fail. He barely spoke of his challenges he just dealt with them. I now know he was in a financial pickle but he never showed it and never made it an issue in our courtship. Another thing I was worried about was moving to Birmingham, luckily my brother and Nadia helped me with that and we worked on a compromise to see what would be best for both of us and our start in marriage, we live in Essex now and I will be leaving my job at the end of February, I want to focus on my marriage for a bit and focus on what I want to do next.

Q: How did he propose?

A: So the proposal was in a few parts. First he asked my brother for permission then got my dad’s permission and then met with the rest of my family. We only knew each other for a few weeks so it was too soon for an answer and we started our courtship. He courted me for a year, he asked me 2 more times during the year then got permission from my dad and brother and he asked me again, the third time I said ok, he didn’t have a ring so I was a bit disappointed. After dinner he dropped me off at home and my brother invited him in, The living room was full of flowers, balloons and rose petals on the floor, my sister-in-law was on point with her camera recording everything. He walked me to the living room, sat me down then he asked me again, this time with a declaration of love and his mum’s ruby ring as a temporary ring, he got down on one knee and I said yes. The following weekend we went to pick up my ring at a jeweller, he had it specially made for me and I love it. We got married one month later.

Q: How did you plan the wedding so quickly?

A: It was so easy, really effortless, my husband hired an event planner couple, they organised everything, he paid for everything except my outfits for the 4 days. It was so effortless on my side that I worked until the day before my wedding.

Q: Would you like to share any words of wisdom or encouragement with our readers?

A: Yes. If you’re serious about getting married and you’ve been trying everything and then some and it’s not working, get a coach, work on yourself, get clarity on what you want for your life, get clarity on what you need and how to get to that place. Then become the person you want to spend your life with. Self-help and guidebooks are very helpful so read a lot but remember if you have low levels of commitment and discipline then you need a coach to light that fire under you. Invest in yourself and you will see the returns a hundred times over.

Dating, marriage, Positive Life Skills, Positivity, relationships, Transformation

Marie’s Story Going From Miss to Mrs – How I Met and Married My Mr Right using The JOYful Method ©

Photo by Trung Nguyen on Pexels.com

The JOYful Method © helps women gain clarity on the missing link that is holding them back from realising their dream relationship with their personal Mr Right. The JOYful Method © gives women the tools, support, guidance and direction they need to bridge the gap to get to their Happily Forever After and maintain a healthy and JOYful marriage.

If you’d like to learn more about The JOYful Method © please get in touchwith me directly on:

NadiaJoyDating@gmail.com

Over the next couple of weeks I will be sharing with you the conversations that I had in a Q & A session with my clients as they share their story of how they met and married their personal Mr Right.

This is Marie’s Story

Q: Marie, please could you tell us a little about yourself and your relationship history before you started coaching with Nadia?

A: Hi, I am Marie. I am 47 years old. I am a food scientist. I live in Belgium. I have 2 sons, 29 and 25 living in Belgium. I have 3 grandchildren and I start coaching with Nadia to move to Belgium to be near to my sons and grandchildren. I was living in France before. My first husband died in 2017. I did not have any romantic relationships until 2019 then I met my second husband. When my first husband died it was too painful to live in the empty house so I just lock everything and move to a small studio. My coaching with Nadia was not about dating in the beginning but for help grieving and to start a new life in Belgium, find a job and be with my family.

Q: What were you doing, dating wise, before you started coaching with Nadia?

A: I was not dating seriously at all. Wine here, coffee there or a dinner sometimes nothing serious. I did not have any intention to get married again. I was preparing myself to move to Belgium I did not want to find a man who is in France.

Q: How was your experience dating online?

A: I don’t do online dating and especially not dating applications. Nadia understood me, she made a plan for me to follow to date in functions, meet ups, real life personal interactions.

Q: How did you meet your now husband?

A: I was a keynote speaker in a conference. After my presentation I was taking questions from the room and my husband was putting his hand up asking questions. At the break he comes to ask some more questions and I was thinking ‘wow this man is so interested in my research but he is taking too much time. I need to network so I can get more funding for my research.’ He asks me for my email address and if he can email me if he has more questions. I give him my email address and I forget about him. After some days I receive an email and then he is asking for my phone number, I give it to him, the office number of course! He calls and asks me if I will have lunch he is in Belgium the next week. I was thinking maybe I can ask some funding thinking it is a business lunch, I say yes and we have lunch. Nadia says to me, dress like a date, I feel strange to do it but I do it. We have lunch, we talk nothing about my research, we talk about wine, music, dancing and his house. He is looking forward to live in his house, there are renovations and repairs, it is taking time but he is happy to live with his daughter for now. I don’t remember everything because in my head I am counting before I speak and try to be mysterious and feel like I am a cartoon with a painted smile.

Q: What happened next?

A: Next, we have dinner the next week and we start to see each other every Saturday. It is very easy spending time with him, I enjoy it. After 2 months it is New Years Eve, his house is ready he has a party, I meet his family and his friends. He introduces saying this is my girlfriend and to his daughter he says this is her, she made my heart whole again, the daughter hugs me, he goes to talk to someone and leaves me with the daughter, she is wonderful but she is talking about my wedding, how big do I want it, questions about flower girl dresses and shopping together, maybe we go to Paris? I was nervous, confused, I start to sweat and feel dizzy. I start to panic and message Nadia. I am not ready for this I start to feel emotional, guilt, anger, betraying my dead husband, what if my children do not like him. I say I have a headache and I go home.

Q: What happened after that?

A: It is New Year’s Day, I am sending Nadia voice notes in Whatsapp. I listen to my sent voice notes, I sound like I am crazy, I know, but what must I do? He is coming to pick me up for dinner. Nadia is having brunch with her fiancé then she is in the bathroom sending me messages. I was feeling very guilty but also desperate for answers, I need answers, I don’t care she is in the bathroom I ask for a quick session I don’t care if other women are listening. I need to speak to Nadia, after 10 minutes I know what to do, what to say and why. I go for dinner, he proposed, I said no and explained what Nadia said.

Q: How did that work out?

A: He was upset but he said he will wait and kiss my hand. I end the date, he wants to drive me home I say I prefer to take the taxi. He requests Uber, I go home. The next day I spend 2 hours with Nadia in intense coaching. While I am talking to Nadia he sends me a message to ask what his daughter said to me and if she upset me. Nadia says be honest and helps me to write the answer. In the evening his daughter phones me to say she is sorry to spoil the surprise because she was thinking he already asked me. I replied exactly how Nadia explained to me.

Q: What happened during that session, I remember it was a real breakthrough could you share some of it with us?

A: Yes, this session was the Y in the road for me. To see myself making this choice, I go left or I go right but how do I know which is good for me? I don’t know. In the end of the session I have total clarity, I understand the root of my guilt, why I was feeling bad and how I must give myself permission if I want to be happy. I make a decision but how do I say yes to him, I am ready now.

Q: Did you tell him?

A: No never! I just imagine Nadia’s voice and face if I tell him. Then I imagine Nadia talking to Sherrie!

Q: So what did you do?

A: Nothing! We continue to go on dates he is wonderful, never misses a week but he does not ask again. We go for lunch, he is saying to me about the lockdown, he is telling me how he will miss me, keep in touch, what we will do, he has thought about everything, my groceries, medicines, masks, sanitizer, toilet paper, date nights, everything.

Q: How did Lockdown affect your relationship?

A: Our relationship became closer, he will cook and bring my food, wine, gifts, flowers and put it outside my door and we have a date and talk through video. Every day he calls me, I was continuing my sessions with Nadia, I want this to work and I want to work on myself as much as possible. After lockdown he proposes with the ring and key for his house. I said yes but return the key. We got married before the second lockdown, a very private ceremony. When he put my ring on my finger he gives me also the house key. This time of course I take the key.

Q: What was your overall experience coaching and mentoring with Nadia?

A: I like her. Nadia is honest but kind and to have these two together is important for me, it is important when you have difficult times and you want honesty but everyone thinks to be nice is to hide your faults from you. Nadia speaks truthfully even when it is painful but I prefer it more than fake people trying to make me feel better and lie in my face. I cannot heal or grow with lies I need the truth. My grief was the starting of my coaching relationship with Nadia. Now we speak 3 times a week with mentoring and she helps me not only with relationship advice but every challenge.

Q: What were the ways you worked with Nadia and how different were your experiences?

A: Private coaching, 2 workshops and mentoring now. I enjoy all of them, they are different, serve a different function and purpose at different stage of my development. Now I am in a mentoring relationship with Nadia and I will continue. The groups experience is good because I meet other women in my age group and we are all in different stages of our relationship so we support each other.

Q: I know there are people who are going to read this and wonder WHY you’re still working with Nadia if you already got your Mr Right – What would you say to them?

A: In life there are cycles, grief, loss, pain, anger, hurt, trust. These things they are important to work through them. You do not want to continue sweeping things under the carpet until one day you try to walk over the carpet but the things underneath, they have become a mountain, you trip and fall. You want to be happy, you want to love and feel alive. My life is more than my husband, I have a career, I am writing a book, I am a mother of children, I have grandchildren, step children, step grandchildren. I have challenges that Rules don’t help me with because they don’t cover it. Nadia knows me sometimes better than I know myself, I trust her, I see how she is always working for my best outcomes so there is no sense to stop because in life you must keep growing and the mentorship is affordable and personal so why not?

Q: Was there a specific challenge that you feel you had to overcome before you met your now husband?

A: Specifically the challenge to accept I have more than one opportunity of great love. To change to abundance mindset. To give permission to myself to experience joy and life. To give permission to myself to love and be loved. To learn who I am again not only a widow, mother, grandmother but a woman with needs,wants,desires of my own. To give myself permission and accepting who I am, this was my challenge.

Q: Do you have any words of wisdom to share with our readers who may also be single and looking for lasting love?

A: If you are near 50 like me or 40 or 20 and you want to have love that is real, true commitment and marriage don’t spend time doing experiments with your heart, body or mind. Learn what you want, what you need, what to look for in a man, what you like, what you don’t like but it’s good for your growth. Finding a husband is serious as you treat your job and work hard to be the match to the man you want. In your job there is upskilling and courses to be better,to get a promotion. If you are single and you need a promotion maybe to girlfriend or wife then you have to do the upskill too it is obvious is it not? The Rules are good foundation but they are not everything. Nadia I think if you write a book of the rules behind the rules it will be good.

Nadia: Haha, now that’s an idea! Thanks so much for your time and sharing your story with us Marie! Those are really great nuggets of advice for our readers I’m sure they’ll enjoy it!

Marie: You are welcome Nadia.

Dating, Health, Positive Life Skills, Positivity, relationships, Transformation

Sara’s Story Going From Miss to Mrs – How I Met and Married My Mr Right using The JOYful Method ©

Photo by Katerina Holmes on Pexels.com

The JOYful Method © helps women gain clarity on the missing link that is holding them back from realising their dream relationship with their personal Mr Right. The JOYful Method © gives women the tools, support, guidance and direction they need to bridge the gap to get to their Happily Forever After and maintain a healthy and JOYful marriage.

Over the next couple of weeks I will be sharing with you the conversations that I had in a Q & A session with my clients as they share their story of how they met and married their personal Mr Right.

This is Sara’s Story

Q: Sara could you tell us a little about yourself and your relationship history before you started coaching with Nadia?

A: I’m Sara, 36 and live in London. I’m a physiotherapist and setting up my own practice in Surrey. This is my first marriage, no children but my husband has a daughter from his previous marriage, she’s 12 and still challenges my light and breezy everyday but at least she doesn’t hate me anymore. My last relationship ended after 4 years living together without a ring or commitment. I ended the relationship after having a talk about commitment and he walked out.

Q: What were you doing, dating wise before you started coaching with Nadia?

A: My friends suggested I date like crazy to get my ex out of my system. I signed up for an app which let women make the first move because I was NOT going to sit around and be the target of another commitment phobe. I wrote a very detailed profile saying what I wanted and what I didn’t want in my next relationship and signed up for gold membership on a different app because it was easy to swipe right on the guys I liked. Before replying to a guy I would send him a message and tell him to read my profile first then message back. Now when I think back I cringe.

Q: How was your experience dating online?

A: In the beginning I felt empowered, sexy and I loved it. I bought sexy tops and dresses, changed my hair and got laser surgery for my eyes. The male attention was feeding my self-esteem I felt great. 

Q: What Changed?

A: I wanted more than just flirts, dinners, drinks, drunken snogs and walks of shame after decisions made with too much gin. I wanted someone I could laugh and cry and go travelling with. A man who would love me and respect me enough to marry me so we can have a beautiful family before my ovaries shut down.

Q: What happened next?

A: I took a break from dating.I went online and started looking for books that could help me find a husband. I downloaded a few e books and audiobooks and started reading and listening. The first 3 books had some useful tips but nothing about how to actually find a marrying man. My 4th book was called All The Rules – Time tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right. At the same time I was listening to Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. I wanted to see if these rules worked so I started to look online for proof.

Q: Then What?

A: I watched some videos, found some groups online and started looking for evidence. What I found made me start to research the authors more and I found myself on The Rules Book website. I looked at the prices for coaching sessions and it was out of my budget I was still paying off my flat and my credit card bills I didn’t have the money so I thought I’d joined an online community and try these rules myself to see if they worked.

Q: And did they work?

A: It was hit and miss I was doing The Rules for 2 and a half years I was almost 34. I met some nice guys nothing further than a first date and once I got to the 2 month stage with a guy suddenly he just started acting weird and cancelling at the last minute or saying he’d call and he would forget. I was anxious, frustrated and angry because I was doing The Rules but something was wrong, it must be me.

Q: What happened next?

A: He ghosted me on my birthday I went home cried all the way and drowned my pain in a bottle of red wine kettle crisps and chocolate. The next day was a Sunday and I didn’t want to get out of bed but I had a birthday brunch planned with friends so I forced myself. Talking to my girlfriends and telling them what happened was the best therapy and the bottomless Prosecco helped the pain and the rejection. He didn’t even text to apologise or explain he just vanished, when my bestie tried calling his number it went straight to voicemail. I didn’t want to think of him anymore I just wanted to forget and I made a promise to myself that by my 35th birthday I was either going to be with my future husband or if I was still single I was going to have a baby on my own. My flat was paid off, my ex contributed to his share of the credit card bills so that was paid off. I was going to get a coach and for the next year I was going to level up to the best version of myself and spend my birthday with my future husband or at a fertility clinic. I messaged a few of the Rules Coaches and asked for an urgent appointment on Monday morning, I was not going to waste any more time. I got 3 replies on Monday but only one coach had an opening on Monday morning and that was Nadia. I booked the session and I spilled my guts out to her. Nadia listened and really took the time to understand me and what I wanted from my relationship. When she emailed me after our call with an analysis of my challenges and the areas I needed to work on and specifically what I needed to work on myself I was convinced she knew what she was talking about and I signed up with her.

Q: What programs/sessions did you do?

A: First 3 sessions and then went and worked on myself for a month and completed the tasks Nadia set for me and started keeping a journal. Then 7 sessions, fell head over heels, ignored Nadia’s advice and went to Mexico for a week. I came back heartbroken and embarrassed I had to find my own way back home, he left without me. I was too embarrassed to get in touch with Nadia but she’s so sweet always checking in. When she texted to check in I told her what happened and she said it’s ok we live and learn. Then she asked me what I learned from the experience and I told her I could do The Rules for dates but when I am spending days with someone I go back to my old self. Nadia asked me to put The Rules aside and really look inwards and tell her what I’d learned about myself. I said I don’t want to get hurt anymore and I want a husband not a time waster. Then something totally cringey happened and Nadia asked me how I see myself and I didn’t know how to answer that because I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I enrolled for the 12 week JOYful method and now I’m doing mentoring with Nadia.

Q: What was your experience with coaching?

A: It was very helpful and helped me to address and work on a lot of things like the struggles of trust and fear. People pleasing and always seeking the approval of others. My anger and unhealthy expectations causing severe strain on my relationships and how my self-sabotaging behaviour comes from not feeling worthy. With mentoring I feel beautifully supported I have the opportunity to really level up and Nadia helps me see what is possible in my life and what I can achieve.

Q: What are the transformations you have experienced and seen during and since the JOYful method?

A: Many little things .The big realisations and transformations, I have more confidence in myself as an individual, a professional and also as a wife. I learned what love really looks like on a day to day practical level when a man loves you. I learnt that you cannot attract the partner you want until you become the partner you want. I learnt about my childhood trauma and how it had influenced every decision I made in relationships, my dating style, attachment style and the patterns that led me to date the men I was dating. I learnt how to use the law of attraction and vibration. I didn’t know what I needed I only knew what I wanted but Nadia knew what I needed and she gave me a map to get to my Mr Right because she saw what was missing and she made me a map and guided me and still guides me through the challenges I face. I know if I was doing it by myself I know I would still be looking for the answers or give up and just go to the fertility clinic!

What did you NOT enjoy about coaching?

A: I did not enjoy that Nadia moved away from London I loved coaching with her in person. I can’t say there was anything I didn’t enjoy, I know in the moment there were many occasions where I resisted change and then suffered because of it or I didn’t listen and suffered because of it so that was not enjoyable as an experience but I learnt to take responsibility for my actions and become more self-aware. There were times where it was really painful having to face reality and facts especially about my childhood and learning that I was responsible for a lot of the dating disasters in my life it made me sad and angry at myself but it was part of the transformation process I know that now and I value the lessons I learnt it was very healing.

Q: Was there a particular challenge that you feel was crucial and played a part in the change in you that led to you meeting your husband?

A: Yes, absolutely. When I finally made peace with my past, my failed relationships, my expectations and my trauma. I started to be more grounded and worked on living by my values based on what is true and real everything changed. The type of men I dated, the date experiences I had, the way I was being treated and respected even at work things were better. Then I met my husband.

Q: Oooh tell us more Sara, how did you meet your husband?

A: I met my husband on an app, the swipey one! I almost didn’t reply to his message but the day he messaged me I had a coaching session with Nadia. He messaged ‘Hi! How are you?’ I remember I got annoyed and started ranting how men are such idiots they message hi and expect a reply. Nadia let me rant on for a while then she asked me how a man would get my attention in real life. I said I guess he’d come and say hi and start small talk or a conversation. I remember Nadia saying every conversation starts with Hi. I replied to the Hi text and had a date for later that week.

Q: Ha! I remember that – What was your first date like?

A: It was pleasant, we had coffee and a light lunch. He was very polite, pulled out my chair, held the door open and walked me to the station after. During the date I noticed how calm he was and how he was so understanding and patient when the waiter messed up our orders and our bill.

Q: How long was it from the time you had your first date until you got engaged then married?

A: Engaged after a year and a month and married five months after that.

Q: What was the journey like?

A: Dating my husband was challenging for me because he treated me so well I would constantly doubt myself and him. I had to face my many limiting beliefs and unhealthy paradigms but I think I am blessed and I think my journey is different because I had Nadia with me from the first text to now,  this helps me deal with new challenges in my life especially those with my husband and his ex-wife and their daughter. There were moments I stumbled but Nadia was always there to help me understand my feelings, the reasons behind them and guided me to make better choices and the best way to deal with situations like arguments, disagreements and the nosey ex-wife always getting involved.

Q: What words of wisdom can you share from your learning and experience that will help other single women looking to meet and marry their Mr Right?

A: One, if what you’re doing is not working then change it. Two, work on your inner self and outer self. Three, if you’re serious about marriage and you’re not getting anywhere after a year get a coach so you have a map and you know what areas you need to work on. My only regret is not doing this sooner and wasting so much time dating the wrong men.

Business, Dating, Health, Positive Life Skills, Positivity, Transformation, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

The Guide to Getting it Done

morning musings

If you’re here it’s because you’re looking to change something in your life for the better be it your finances, relationships with family, friends, romantic relationships or the relationship with yourself.

As a Life Coach for the last ten years i have used my system to help people achieve what they really really want in their lives.

This guide is not a self help book or a book on personal development. I have, in my experience found that every single person who wants to change a part of their lives has already read books on the topic and tried several ways of getting to their goal without success. My guide bypasses the ‘fluff’ as I call it, and it gets you to start working to make your dream a reality.

The exercises in my guide, when followed with diligence and focus will get you through the challenges you will face on your journey helping you to prepare for success and setbacks and also allowing you to access your Powerhouse within, the force that drives you and the force that will propel you to success.

My guide to getting it done will help you succeed in your goals whatever you choose them to be, but, you have to want it, really want it and be prepared to do whatever it takes to get you to the finish line.

If you’ve already tried everything else and couldn’t get it to work then this is the guide for you.

I have coached individuals with personal goals, sales teams, HR managers, retail managers, marathon runners and even CEOs. This system worked for them and it will work for you.

So if you are serious about change The Guide To Getting It Done is the guide you have been waiting for!

Download the guide here: DOWNLOAD

Health, Positivity, Transformation

Body Transformation – My journey so far!

I’m not skinny, I don’t have a perfect body and I don’t live on lettuce. I’m a real woman, who faces real challenges has a body that needs some work and I like food!

Recently people who know me keep asking me what I’m doing and how have I lost so much weight…it feels great but what feels even nicer is sharing and that’s the reason I am writing this post so that others can perhaps gain the same, similar or even better results than I have…

For those who know me, I am big on the concept of challenging yourself to be the best you can be in every aspect of life to create a balanced and harmonious self – mind, body and spirit!

This will be the first of a series of posts as I have not quite finished yet 😉

But for starters I thought I’d give you some background and how I got here.

In my twenties it was easy to just eat anything and everything without having to worry about putting on weight. Friday night movie and chill consisted of a large pizza…to myself of course, a bottle of coke, a large chocolate bar and hey, why not, some butter popcorn and a tub of ice cream…don’t stop there…hot chocolate with cream and chocolate and a brownie to go with it? Bring it on!

Then I entered my thirties, still in pretty good shape so I never really worried about diet, calories or macros or the difference between high and low carb. Food was yummy, I ate it and that was that!

In 2015 things changed, I had just moved to London from half way across the world, started a new job in an industry I knew nothing about, had no friends or social life in this new city, I lost my dad, 5 friends and my dog – so all in all not exactly the BEST year of my life!

I hadn’t realised it at the time, but food had become my best friend and my painkiller, a coping mechanism! Whenever feelings got too difficult to deal with I’d stuff them back down with a brownie. Feeling overwhelmed….a cookie or a few could sort that!

My mind finally caught up with what had happened at Christmas that year when I went home to visit my family and everyone, EVERYONE kept commenting on how much weight I’d gained.

2016 and I realised something had to change and I had to do it myself, the weight was not going to fall off on its own! Not having had much experience with the whole diet thing didn’t exactly help the situation. So I thought I’d consult the know-it-all, Google! Why not, right? As good a place to start as any, I figured. So I’d Google something, try it out for a few weeks, step on the scales, figure out it didn’t work, try something new, step on the scales, it didn’t work, try something else….that went on for quite a while!

Not to be totally ungrateful though, I did lose some weight with my diet experiments, but I still didn’t look like the me I knew, I didn’t feel like the me I knew…I felt like a prisoner in my own body, trapped! What’s worse was that I didn’t know how to shift it. So the search began once more and Google and I had a love hate relationship as more trials ended in minimal results.

I got fed up! I decided to just make peace with the weight and focus on other areas of my life…I started focussing on meeting new people, making new friends, dressing right for this new body type and learning to just surrender the weight loss thing.

I asked the Universe for a solution and just let it go, I knew when the timing was right the solution would present itself.  I learnt trust, faith and a lot about life during this time, and about myself too. I really began to appreciate the person I was on the inside, grief changed me but I liked the way I had changed, the loss I felt had given me insights and perspectives I had not known before, my capacity for love, compassion, patience, empathy and understanding had grown. My appreciation for life itself grew. I was stronger emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I had dealt with the loss, hurt and the grief. I’m not saying the hurt has vanished, I still feel it when I think of a loved one that I’ve lost and it really hurts, I just don’t stuff the feelings down with brownies anymore!

2017 began and I made a promise to myself to make it the year I start creating a healthier, happier me on all fronts, work, relationships, mind, body and spirituality.

I love my work, I love being a coach, I love everything that goes with it, the smiles, the tears, the triumphs so I knew I had that sorted!

My work with my grief counsellor helped me feel emotionally like me again and not feeling guilty every time I smiled, laughed or actually enjoyed myself. Relationships were great, I had made amazing friends, I was dating and meeting new people, mentally I was stronger, spiritually too! The only thing that I had still not quite figured out was the body bit but I continued to have faith that the Universe will present the correct solution by grace and in the most perfect way!

In September I returned from a trip to find a new housemate living in our house share! Her positive energy and vibrant self was and still is quite mesmerizing! She ran and trained at the gym religiously and one day, we got to talking, I told her about my weight loss journey and she opened me up to the idea of a personal trainer – the seed was planted!

I thought about it for a while and I figured, when you need something done right you hire an expert right?!

So one day out of the blue she arrived home with some snapshots of the bios of trainers at the gym – she read through them one by one and told me to say stop when I heard something that resonated with me so I asked the universe for a sign and I listened.

I heard one of my Dad’s favourite quotes by Socrates – ‘The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not fighting the old, but on building the new’

This was my sign!

I didn’t hesitate I called the number, booked a consultation and signed on.

It was October, I finally got working on the one area of my life that needed some serious work. About time! I got a personal trainer, I joined the gym and I have a healthier and happier relationship with food now. I eat more now than I’ve ever eaten in any of my ‘diets’ and I lose bodyfat not just on the scales but in centimetres too!

I’m 7 weeks into my training program and 7kg’s down. I’ve lost 2 dress sizes and almost in need of a new wardrobe, my skinny jeans have pockets of air in them and just aren’t skinny anymore and my bodycon dresses don’t hug anymore – they hang! I have a date tonight and I had to go out and buy a new black dress – in a size 10….I had to read the label a few times before it sank in!

I’m nowhere near my goal weight and it’s OK because I know each day that passes I am one step closer by grace and in the most perfect way. I don’t need to think anymore, I don’t Google diets or weight loss, I don’t Google quick, fast weight loss tips or appetite suppressants. My personal trainer does the thinking and the planning for me, Alexis has helped me not just shed the weight and strengthen my body, he’s helped me change my entire mindset, he’s helped me find exactly the foods and exercise that work best for me and he keeps me on track and totally motivated. I’m not going to pretend it’s easy breezy….it’s NOT! But it IS worth it!

Body transformation takes discipline and determination, it’s not something you do half-heartedly and hope for the best. If you want results you have to work your butt off and give 100% no slip ups, no cheating, no excuses, no complaints that it’s too cold to get out of bed at 5am!

Everything in life worth having requires some effort and sacrifice – I’ve still got 5 weeks to go of my body transformation challenge but if the first 7 weeks are anything to judge by, I am certain I will be grinning at the before and after photos!

I’ve been documenting and compiling EVERYTHING in order to help others who are also struggling to achieve great results!

Once my 12 weeks are complete I will be sharing more about my compilation but in the meantime if you have any questions for me or if you would like to get in touch with my trainer and see if he can help you too (he does Skype consults) then do let me know and I’m happy to share his contact details or if you prefer you can connect with Alexis directly via social media – don’t forget to say I sent you! 🙂

Facebook: www.facebook.com/FitandMettle

Instagram: www.instagram.com/fit_and_mettle/

If you would like to connect with me and follow my journey on social media my details are:

 

Email: nadiajoydating@gmail.com
Website: www.nadiajoydating.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nadiajoydating
Instagram: @nadiajoydating
Twitter: @nadiajoydating

I look forward to hearing from you!

With Love,

Nadia

xXx