Dating, Health, Positive Life Skills, Positivity, relationships, Transformation

Sara’s Story Going From Miss to Mrs – How I Met and Married My Mr Right using The JOYful Method ©

Photo by Katerina Holmes on Pexels.com

The JOYful Method © helps women gain clarity on the missing link that is holding them back from realising their dream relationship with their personal Mr Right. The JOYful Method © gives women the tools, support, guidance and direction they need to bridge the gap to get to their Happily Forever After and maintain a healthy and JOYful marriage.

Over the next couple of weeks I will be sharing with you the conversations that I had in a Q & A session with my clients as they share their story of how they met and married their personal Mr Right.

This is Sara’s Story

Q: Sara could you tell us a little about yourself and your relationship history before you started coaching with Nadia?

A: I’m Sara, 36 and live in London. I’m a physiotherapist and setting up my own practice in Surrey. This is my first marriage, no children but my husband has a daughter from his previous marriage, she’s 12 and still challenges my light and breezy everyday but at least she doesn’t hate me anymore. My last relationship ended after 4 years living together without a ring or commitment. I ended the relationship after having a talk about commitment and he walked out.

Q: What were you doing, dating wise before you started coaching with Nadia?

A: My friends suggested I date like crazy to get my ex out of my system. I signed up for an app which let women make the first move because I was NOT going to sit around and be the target of another commitment phobe. I wrote a very detailed profile saying what I wanted and what I didn’t want in my next relationship and signed up for gold membership on a different app because it was easy to swipe right on the guys I liked. Before replying to a guy I would send him a message and tell him to read my profile first then message back. Now when I think back I cringe.

Q: How was your experience dating online?

A: In the beginning I felt empowered, sexy and I loved it. I bought sexy tops and dresses, changed my hair and got laser surgery for my eyes. The male attention was feeding my self-esteem I felt great. 

Q: What Changed?

A: I wanted more than just flirts, dinners, drinks, drunken snogs and walks of shame after decisions made with too much gin. I wanted someone I could laugh and cry and go travelling with. A man who would love me and respect me enough to marry me so we can have a beautiful family before my ovaries shut down.

Q: What happened next?

A: I took a break from dating.I went online and started looking for books that could help me find a husband. I downloaded a few e books and audiobooks and started reading and listening. The first 3 books had some useful tips but nothing about how to actually find a marrying man. My 4th book was called All The Rules – Time tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right. At the same time I was listening to Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. I wanted to see if these rules worked so I started to look online for proof.

Q: Then What?

A: I watched some videos, found some groups online and started looking for evidence. What I found made me start to research the authors more and I found myself on The Rules Book website. I looked at the prices for coaching sessions and it was out of my budget I was still paying off my flat and my credit card bills I didn’t have the money so I thought I’d joined an online community and try these rules myself to see if they worked.

Q: And did they work?

A: It was hit and miss I was doing The Rules for 2 and a half years I was almost 34. I met some nice guys nothing further than a first date and once I got to the 2 month stage with a guy suddenly he just started acting weird and cancelling at the last minute or saying he’d call and he would forget. I was anxious, frustrated and angry because I was doing The Rules but something was wrong, it must be me.

Q: What happened next?

A: He ghosted me on my birthday I went home cried all the way and drowned my pain in a bottle of red wine kettle crisps and chocolate. The next day was a Sunday and I didn’t want to get out of bed but I had a birthday brunch planned with friends so I forced myself. Talking to my girlfriends and telling them what happened was the best therapy and the bottomless Prosecco helped the pain and the rejection. He didn’t even text to apologise or explain he just vanished, when my bestie tried calling his number it went straight to voicemail. I didn’t want to think of him anymore I just wanted to forget and I made a promise to myself that by my 35th birthday I was either going to be with my future husband or if I was still single I was going to have a baby on my own. My flat was paid off, my ex contributed to his share of the credit card bills so that was paid off. I was going to get a coach and for the next year I was going to level up to the best version of myself and spend my birthday with my future husband or at a fertility clinic. I messaged a few of the Rules Coaches and asked for an urgent appointment on Monday morning, I was not going to waste any more time. I got 3 replies on Monday but only one coach had an opening on Monday morning and that was Nadia. I booked the session and I spilled my guts out to her. Nadia listened and really took the time to understand me and what I wanted from my relationship. When she emailed me after our call with an analysis of my challenges and the areas I needed to work on and specifically what I needed to work on myself I was convinced she knew what she was talking about and I signed up with her.

Q: What programs/sessions did you do?

A: First 3 sessions and then went and worked on myself for a month and completed the tasks Nadia set for me and started keeping a journal. Then 7 sessions, fell head over heels, ignored Nadia’s advice and went to Mexico for a week. I came back heartbroken and embarrassed I had to find my own way back home, he left without me. I was too embarrassed to get in touch with Nadia but she’s so sweet always checking in. When she texted to check in I told her what happened and she said it’s ok we live and learn. Then she asked me what I learned from the experience and I told her I could do The Rules for dates but when I am spending days with someone I go back to my old self. Nadia asked me to put The Rules aside and really look inwards and tell her what I’d learned about myself. I said I don’t want to get hurt anymore and I want a husband not a time waster. Then something totally cringey happened and Nadia asked me how I see myself and I didn’t know how to answer that because I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I enrolled for the 12 week JOYful method and now I’m doing mentoring with Nadia.

Q: What was your experience with coaching?

A: It was very helpful and helped me to address and work on a lot of things like the struggles of trust and fear. People pleasing and always seeking the approval of others. My anger and unhealthy expectations causing severe strain on my relationships and how my self-sabotaging behaviour comes from not feeling worthy. With mentoring I feel beautifully supported I have the opportunity to really level up and Nadia helps me see what is possible in my life and what I can achieve.

Q: What are the transformations you have experienced and seen during and since the JOYful method?

A: Many little things .The big realisations and transformations, I have more confidence in myself as an individual, a professional and also as a wife. I learned what love really looks like on a day to day practical level when a man loves you. I learnt that you cannot attract the partner you want until you become the partner you want. I learnt about my childhood trauma and how it had influenced every decision I made in relationships, my dating style, attachment style and the patterns that led me to date the men I was dating. I learnt how to use the law of attraction and vibration. I didn’t know what I needed I only knew what I wanted but Nadia knew what I needed and she gave me a map to get to my Mr Right because she saw what was missing and she made me a map and guided me and still guides me through the challenges I face. I know if I was doing it by myself I know I would still be looking for the answers or give up and just go to the fertility clinic!

What did you NOT enjoy about coaching?

A: I did not enjoy that Nadia moved away from London I loved coaching with her in person. I can’t say there was anything I didn’t enjoy, I know in the moment there were many occasions where I resisted change and then suffered because of it or I didn’t listen and suffered because of it so that was not enjoyable as an experience but I learnt to take responsibility for my actions and become more self-aware. There were times where it was really painful having to face reality and facts especially about my childhood and learning that I was responsible for a lot of the dating disasters in my life it made me sad and angry at myself but it was part of the transformation process I know that now and I value the lessons I learnt it was very healing.

Q: Was there a particular challenge that you feel was crucial and played a part in the change in you that led to you meeting your husband?

A: Yes, absolutely. When I finally made peace with my past, my failed relationships, my expectations and my trauma. I started to be more grounded and worked on living by my values based on what is true and real everything changed. The type of men I dated, the date experiences I had, the way I was being treated and respected even at work things were better. Then I met my husband.

Q: Oooh tell us more Sara, how did you meet your husband?

A: I met my husband on an app, the swipey one! I almost didn’t reply to his message but the day he messaged me I had a coaching session with Nadia. He messaged ‘Hi! How are you?’ I remember I got annoyed and started ranting how men are such idiots they message hi and expect a reply. Nadia let me rant on for a while then she asked me how a man would get my attention in real life. I said I guess he’d come and say hi and start small talk or a conversation. I remember Nadia saying every conversation starts with Hi. I replied to the Hi text and had a date for later that week.

Q: Ha! I remember that – What was your first date like?

A: It was pleasant, we had coffee and a light lunch. He was very polite, pulled out my chair, held the door open and walked me to the station after. During the date I noticed how calm he was and how he was so understanding and patient when the waiter messed up our orders and our bill.

Q: How long was it from the time you had your first date until you got engaged then married?

A: Engaged after a year and a month and married five months after that.

Q: What was the journey like?

A: Dating my husband was challenging for me because he treated me so well I would constantly doubt myself and him. I had to face my many limiting beliefs and unhealthy paradigms but I think I am blessed and I think my journey is different because I had Nadia with me from the first text to now,  this helps me deal with new challenges in my life especially those with my husband and his ex-wife and their daughter. There were moments I stumbled but Nadia was always there to help me understand my feelings, the reasons behind them and guided me to make better choices and the best way to deal with situations like arguments, disagreements and the nosey ex-wife always getting involved.

Q: What words of wisdom can you share from your learning and experience that will help other single women looking to meet and marry their Mr Right?

A: One, if what you’re doing is not working then change it. Two, work on your inner self and outer self. Three, if you’re serious about marriage and you’re not getting anywhere after a year get a coach so you have a map and you know what areas you need to work on. My only regret is not doing this sooner and wasting so much time dating the wrong men.

Business, Dating, Health, Positive Life Skills, Positivity, Transformation, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

The Guide to Getting it Done

morning musings

If you’re here it’s because you’re looking to change something in your life for the better be it your finances, relationships with family, friends, romantic relationships or the relationship with yourself.

As a Life Coach for the last ten years i have used my system to help people achieve what they really really want in their lives.

This guide is not a self help book or a book on personal development. I have, in my experience found that every single person who wants to change a part of their lives has already read books on the topic and tried several ways of getting to their goal without success. My guide bypasses the ‘fluff’ as I call it, and it gets you to start working to make your dream a reality.

The exercises in my guide, when followed with diligence and focus will get you through the challenges you will face on your journey helping you to prepare for success and setbacks and also allowing you to access your Powerhouse within, the force that drives you and the force that will propel you to success.

My guide to getting it done will help you succeed in your goals whatever you choose them to be, but, you have to want it, really want it and be prepared to do whatever it takes to get you to the finish line.

If you’ve already tried everything else and couldn’t get it to work then this is the guide for you.

I have coached individuals with personal goals, sales teams, HR managers, retail managers, marathon runners and even CEOs. This system worked for them and it will work for you.

So if you are serious about change The Guide To Getting It Done is the guide you have been waiting for!

Download the guide here: DOWNLOAD

Health, Positivity, Transformation

Body Transformation – My journey so far!

I’m not skinny, I don’t have a perfect body and I don’t live on lettuce. I’m a real woman, who faces real challenges has a body that needs some work and I like food!

Recently people who know me keep asking me what I’m doing and how have I lost so much weight…it feels great but what feels even nicer is sharing and that’s the reason I am writing this post so that others can perhaps gain the same, similar or even better results than I have…

For those who know me, I am big on the concept of challenging yourself to be the best you can be in every aspect of life to create a balanced and harmonious self – mind, body and spirit!

This will be the first of a series of posts as I have not quite finished yet 😉

But for starters I thought I’d give you some background and how I got here.

In my twenties it was easy to just eat anything and everything without having to worry about putting on weight. Friday night movie and chill consisted of a large pizza…to myself of course, a bottle of coke, a large chocolate bar and hey, why not, some butter popcorn and a tub of ice cream…don’t stop there…hot chocolate with cream and chocolate and a brownie to go with it? Bring it on!

Then I entered my thirties, still in pretty good shape so I never really worried about diet, calories or macros or the difference between high and low carb. Food was yummy, I ate it and that was that!

In 2015 things changed, I had just moved to London from half way across the world, started a new job in an industry I knew nothing about, had no friends or social life in this new city, I lost my dad, 5 friends and my dog – so all in all not exactly the BEST year of my life!

I hadn’t realised it at the time, but food had become my best friend and my painkiller, a coping mechanism! Whenever feelings got too difficult to deal with I’d stuff them back down with a brownie. Feeling overwhelmed….a cookie or a few could sort that!

My mind finally caught up with what had happened at Christmas that year when I went home to visit my family and everyone, EVERYONE kept commenting on how much weight I’d gained.

2016 and I realised something had to change and I had to do it myself, the weight was not going to fall off on its own! Not having had much experience with the whole diet thing didn’t exactly help the situation. So I thought I’d consult the know-it-all, Google! Why not, right? As good a place to start as any, I figured. So I’d Google something, try it out for a few weeks, step on the scales, figure out it didn’t work, try something new, step on the scales, it didn’t work, try something else….that went on for quite a while!

Not to be totally ungrateful though, I did lose some weight with my diet experiments, but I still didn’t look like the me I knew, I didn’t feel like the me I knew…I felt like a prisoner in my own body, trapped! What’s worse was that I didn’t know how to shift it. So the search began once more and Google and I had a love hate relationship as more trials ended in minimal results.

I got fed up! I decided to just make peace with the weight and focus on other areas of my life…I started focussing on meeting new people, making new friends, dressing right for this new body type and learning to just surrender the weight loss thing.

I asked the Universe for a solution and just let it go, I knew when the timing was right the solution would present itself.  I learnt trust, faith and a lot about life during this time, and about myself too. I really began to appreciate the person I was on the inside, grief changed me but I liked the way I had changed, the loss I felt had given me insights and perspectives I had not known before, my capacity for love, compassion, patience, empathy and understanding had grown. My appreciation for life itself grew. I was stronger emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I had dealt with the loss, hurt and the grief. I’m not saying the hurt has vanished, I still feel it when I think of a loved one that I’ve lost and it really hurts, I just don’t stuff the feelings down with brownies anymore!

2017 began and I made a promise to myself to make it the year I start creating a healthier, happier me on all fronts, work, relationships, mind, body and spirituality.

I love my work, I love being a coach, I love everything that goes with it, the smiles, the tears, the triumphs so I knew I had that sorted!

My work with my grief counsellor helped me feel emotionally like me again and not feeling guilty every time I smiled, laughed or actually enjoyed myself. Relationships were great, I had made amazing friends, I was dating and meeting new people, mentally I was stronger, spiritually too! The only thing that I had still not quite figured out was the body bit but I continued to have faith that the Universe will present the correct solution by grace and in the most perfect way!

In September I returned from a trip to find a new housemate living in our house share! Her positive energy and vibrant self was and still is quite mesmerizing! She ran and trained at the gym religiously and one day, we got to talking, I told her about my weight loss journey and she opened me up to the idea of a personal trainer – the seed was planted!

I thought about it for a while and I figured, when you need something done right you hire an expert right?!

So one day out of the blue she arrived home with some snapshots of the bios of trainers at the gym – she read through them one by one and told me to say stop when I heard something that resonated with me so I asked the universe for a sign and I listened.

I heard one of my Dad’s favourite quotes by Socrates – ‘The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not fighting the old, but on building the new’

This was my sign!

I didn’t hesitate I called the number, booked a consultation and signed on.

It was October, I finally got working on the one area of my life that needed some serious work. About time! I got a personal trainer, I joined the gym and I have a healthier and happier relationship with food now. I eat more now than I’ve ever eaten in any of my ‘diets’ and I lose bodyfat not just on the scales but in centimetres too!

I’m 7 weeks into my training program and 7kg’s down. I’ve lost 2 dress sizes and almost in need of a new wardrobe, my skinny jeans have pockets of air in them and just aren’t skinny anymore and my bodycon dresses don’t hug anymore – they hang! I have a date tonight and I had to go out and buy a new black dress – in a size 10….I had to read the label a few times before it sank in!

I’m nowhere near my goal weight and it’s OK because I know each day that passes I am one step closer by grace and in the most perfect way. I don’t need to think anymore, I don’t Google diets or weight loss, I don’t Google quick, fast weight loss tips or appetite suppressants. My personal trainer does the thinking and the planning for me, Alexis has helped me not just shed the weight and strengthen my body, he’s helped me change my entire mindset, he’s helped me find exactly the foods and exercise that work best for me and he keeps me on track and totally motivated. I’m not going to pretend it’s easy breezy….it’s NOT! But it IS worth it!

Body transformation takes discipline and determination, it’s not something you do half-heartedly and hope for the best. If you want results you have to work your butt off and give 100% no slip ups, no cheating, no excuses, no complaints that it’s too cold to get out of bed at 5am!

Everything in life worth having requires some effort and sacrifice – I’ve still got 5 weeks to go of my body transformation challenge but if the first 7 weeks are anything to judge by, I am certain I will be grinning at the before and after photos!

I’ve been documenting and compiling EVERYTHING in order to help others who are also struggling to achieve great results!

Once my 12 weeks are complete I will be sharing more about my compilation but in the meantime if you have any questions for me or if you would like to get in touch with my trainer and see if he can help you too (he does Skype consults) then do let me know and I’m happy to share his contact details or if you prefer you can connect with Alexis directly via social media – don’t forget to say I sent you! 🙂

Facebook: www.facebook.com/FitandMettle

Instagram: www.instagram.com/fit_and_mettle/

If you would like to connect with me and follow my journey on social media my details are:

 

Email: nadiajoydating@gmail.com
Website: www.nadiajoydating.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nadiajoydating
Instagram: @nadiajoydating
Twitter: @nadiajoydating

I look forward to hearing from you!

With Love,

Nadia

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