An online dating profile is not just a ‘nice-to-have’ for the single woman of our time but a necessity when it comes to meeting men. Times have changed, we accept that and we adapt.
When it comes to writing a profile WHAT is it about yourself and what you’re looking for that you do write? How much is too much and how much is not enough?
I remember when I just started online dating, I thought the more detail I wrote down in my online profile the better. I felt if I wrote what I AM and AM NOT looking for would help filter out the men who were not serious about a relationship.
So I took my time and wrote a few paragraphs on exactly who I was, what I was looking for and the qualities I was after in a partner. Needless to say this was a BAD idea, very very bad!
Not only did I get frustrated with the replies I was getting but those that did turn into actual dates were incredibly disappointing because they would be saying what they thought I wanted to hear and that just didn’t go anywhere. Thankful my instincts about people has always been pretty good so I didn’t end up wasting time on dates that weren’t going anywhere.
I am now wiser!…Pheeww!
Trial and error and working with a Rules Dating Coach helped me get it right – Doing The Rules and having a good profile leads to quality dates.
So what is an online profile? It’s a snapshot of you, the tiniest tip of the iceberg of who you are as a person, it’s the blurb of what you are about – not the entire novel!
We know men are visual creatures, yes, I can feel you nodding! So of course an online profile is not just about the write up it’s also about your pictures. It’s important to have good pictures and good content to create a great profile.
So how do you put together a great profile and make sure your online profile is helping NOT hurting you? Well, you can either get in touch with me or follow the tips below:
Before you begin, set the intent in your mind of what you’re looking for online and make sure you have realistic expectations – the best way is to remain open to meeting men and don’t prejudge.
Obviously, it goes without saying if he’s totally not your type its best not to waste anyone’s time – but if you’re only looking for perfect 10’s – you’re going to stay single!
Less is more – REALLY! – Remember tiniest tip of the iceberg, a blurb. Keep it positive, upbeat and light and breezy.
Don’t lie – Don’t misrepresent yourself or lie, keeping to the facts lets you remain true to yourself and with so much dishonesty that happens online – honesty is a breath of fresh air. Mind you honesty and openness does NOT mean you rattle on about your flaws or how painful your childhood/trust issues/divorce/being single and feeling empty is.
Stay upbeat – Nobody wants to read about you looking online for a date because you are just recovering from the flu/operation/being laid off etc. Keep it light, positive, fun and easy to read – it’s not an English literature paper – keep the language simple.
Endless texting/mailing back and forth – Remember WHY you are online, to date! Not to get yourself a new pen pal to discuss religion, politics, the weather and what you had for breakfast/lunch/dinner. You’re online to date – in the online world the online platform first few exchanges serve as the traditional ‘guy-walks-up-to-a-girl-in-a-bar’ scenario, they wouldn’t stand there for hours on end exchanging meaningless chit chat. He needs to ask you out, if not….move on!
Good pictures – I’m not talking super photo shopped images of you looking like a Vogue cover girl or a Victoria secrets model. I’m talking pictures that look like you on a super awesome day, smiling, great hair, fabulous makeup, happy and dressed well! A photo shoot is a great idea – I had one and I don’t regret it one bit. Don’t post a photo album – this is not a gallery to showcase your cat/dog/tortoise/hedgehog Harry or your skydiving/bungee jumping/pottery/knitting hobbies!
2 to 3 pictures is quite enough – if he wants to see more he needs to take you out!
Silly usernames, bad grammar and spelling, CAPS, emoji’s, saying too much, saying too little, being cold and bullet points… all of these = NO! Self-explanatory I don’t think I need to get into these but if you have a question ping me an email.
So….you now have some tips to go and write a great profile….if you’d like some help please do get in touch.
I am offering a free 30 minute consultation for all first timers – if you feel you’d like to use this to go over your dating profile or anything else do get in touch via any of the channels below.